Why Jade Roper Thought She “Was Going to Die” During Birth of Her Son

Motherhood for Jade Roper hasn’t always felt like paradise.

While many may follow the Bachelor Nation star for her adventures with husband Tanner Tolbert and their three children, the Mommies Tell All podcast host is now ready to share her experience dealing with postpartum PTSD.

In a new interview with TODAY Parents, Jade recalled the moments she welcomed son Brooks in her bedroom closet and the emotions that soon followed.

“I felt like he didn’t want me, which was the hardest part,” she shared. “I felt like I would look at him and I felt so disconnected and he didn’t know I was his mom or he didn’t want me as his mom.” The Bachelor alum says the unexpected home birth in July 2019 and her overall experience resulted in postpartum PTSD.

“From the second I went into labor until pretty much until I got pregnant with my (second) son Reed, I was dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder,” Jade explained. “When I was giving birth, I had such a precipitous labor I thought something wrong was happening. I thought that he was going to die. I thought I was going to die. And so after that experience, I would have flashbacks. That we were…not safe.”